So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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