Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
