why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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