If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
