I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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