so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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