Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
