now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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