Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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