Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
