That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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