love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
