it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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