so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
