I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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