I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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