so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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