awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
