Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize