TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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