I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
