We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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