I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
