he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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