watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
