whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
