in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
