I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So much rum. So many feels.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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