the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
