Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
