Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My penis needs a shock collar
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
