I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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