don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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