He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
