i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
