the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
