I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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