This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
