he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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