i just google imaged poop.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
