Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
