haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
