it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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