Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
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I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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