we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my shit smells like andre
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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