Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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