I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We left the knife in your bed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
