I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
