Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
