i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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