ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
