He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
