I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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