epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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