my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
