i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize